For so long you had such control over me. For so long, I pined after you, had breakdown after breakdown because of you. But no matter what I still came running back. You were the one I thought I was supposed to spend my life with, regardless of what my family thought. It was you. Then you turned toxic. I say you turned toxic but in hindsight you were always toxic, the toxicity just worsened. You became accusatory, and demeaning, not to mention manipulative. You took everything away from me, and sent me spiraling down a dark path towards alcoholism and drug abuse.
But still, you were all I wanted. I didn't think I could live my life without you. But then, at the perfect time, Blake stepped in. He saw how broken I was and told me he was waiting on me and my feelings and heart to heal. He stayed to comfort me and teach me how to love myself all over again; something you taught me in the beginning but destroyed any chance of when you poured a can of beer all over me and my car.
Blake gave me a sense of adventure. With you, we could never go anywhere. Blake has not spoiled me, but treated me the way I've always deserved to be treated. You? You never paid for anything except for two dates with your mom's money. With Blake, I've found my purpose in life, and with you it was partying nonstop. With Blake I've found comfort, safety, and home. But with you I found nothing but a facade.
You see where I'm going with this? You were the one that laid the foundation of who I could be. But Blake encouraged me to build the mansion of who I am now. You were nothing but toxic to me and my health, yet everyone comforted you at the end.
Look at us now. You're 23, or almost, and still living at home with mom and dad, blaming the attempts on your life on someone who hasn't thought about you in two years. But me? I'm 20, living on my own with my perfect husband and daughter, paying my own bills and finishing school. I've become the success everyone believed I would, but as for you, I can't say much.
To the one I loved before. You used to be my everything. And I will always care about you. But as of now. Nothing. You're nothing to me. I've finally gotten the closure I always needed. I'm happy. I'm not starving myself. I'm taking my medication correctly. When I say I'm okay, I really am okay.
Goodbye.
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